A nice day for apple pie and chips
by Origin Blue
Summary: I was bored, randomness within, Nadir is crazy and Erik is out of chandeliers, not really much more to say. R&R please, I will love you forever!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I was bored, madness ensues 

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

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Erik sat in his lair, musing over his life. It wasn't going very well at the moment,  
you see. His only love had left him for a fop, and his only friend was a persian who seemed to have more sense than him, which did not bode well in Erik's books, for no-one should be better than him, NO-ONE, I SAY... 

Speak of the devil, Nadir walked through the door, just when the story was in need of some plot.

"Good morning small cabbage of mars." Said Nadir, Erik looked at him gone out.

"What just happened..." He said.

"Oh, well, I just wanted you to be happy, so I made Nadir have slightly less sense"  
Said Padfootbabeinblack

"Well, DON'T" Said Erik "kindly return Nadir to the way he was."

"And what will you do if I don't?"

"I'll.." At this point, Nadir interrupted. "Apple pie and chips!"

Then, Christine appeared, looking slightly dazed, but as she always looked like this, in light of her clinical lack of IQ, this didn't really disturb anyone.

"Hmm, you did this, didn't you, you... voice!" Said Erik.

"Well, the story was lacking in plot, not that it really has any more plot now, I just needed to fill a few lines." Said Padfootbabeinblack, who will from now on be known as Sammy, as she is tired of typing her long and irksome name out so many times.

"Purple monkey dishwasher, NI!" said Nadir.

"Why is there an insane man in Erik's house" Said Christine.

"How about pancakes, oh yes, that will kill the tension." Said Sammy.

"I do not eat, pancakes." Said Erik.

"Fear not Christine for I will save you." Said Raoul.

"For gods sake, he followed me, someone drop a large lighting fixture on him" Said christine.

"Gladly" Said Erik, and a neon sigh sporting the message 'BAR' fell on Raoul.

"..." Said everyone except Nadir, who said "Sporks are fun"

"What, don't look at me like that... I'm all out of chandeliers, no, don't end the chapter like this, no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Combustable elephants."

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A/N: Hope you liked it! More will come. 


	2. Behold

A/N: Behold, chapter 2. 

Disclaimer: Still don't own, get off my back already!

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Hmmm, our story left off, well, actually, where did our story leave off, oh, who cares really. Anyway, let's start with... where our story starts, yes, that makes sense doesn't it,  
well, anyway, our story starts.  
"GET THE HELL ON WITH IT" Said Erik. "And what's with all the commas you can type without them y'know"  
"Sorry, I tend to ramble..but...what did you say... NEVER INSULT MY COMMAS YOU HEAR ME, NEVER, NNNNNEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRRRR" Said Sammy 

"You know, grass doesn't taste nice." Said Nadir.

"I thought I told you to turn him back, on threat of many punjabs." Said Erik

"Well, actually, Nadirs crazed rantings drowned out the threat, but I see what you mean, I'll turn him back."

"Thank god, I've never been so humiliated in my life." Said Nadir.

"Well sorry, but Erik was sad." Said Sammy

"Big deal, he only has two moods to my knowledge, and they're sad and angry, oh yes, and brooding"  
Said Nadir

"Hey I'm isulted." Said Erik, and angry gleam appearing in his eye.

"You see..." Said Nadir.

"right then Daroga, if that's what you think, I'm going to show you I can be happy and cheerful"  
Said Erik.

"...Uggghhh, where am I, and why is that pony dancing too quickly..." Said Raoul, waking up from having a neon bar sighn dropped on his head if you remember.

"God, he's awake, somebody knock him out again." Said Christine, hiding behind Erik's pipe organ.

"No...no I will not, as I am being kind and considerate to all my peirs." Said Erik "Good morning vicomte, isn't it a nice day out... Well actually, I couldn't say as I'm in a cellar, but I'm quite sure it is."

"AAAARRRRGGGG, is this hell, all I can remember is something big and neon... wait a second... I thought neon hadn't been invented yet." Said Raoul.

"My god, you thought... somebody get the camera, this may never happen again." Said Erik

"Ha, I knew you couldn't keep it up for long!" Said Nadir

"Damn..." Said Erik, and knocked Raoul over the head.

"Good morning missus miggins, how are your artichokes..." Said Raoul.

"Er... I think you gave him concussion.

Suddenly, a fridge came out of nowhere, singing bohemian rhapsody.

"Wrong fic.. in fact, wrrong category." Said Sammy "Get back to the insane world of insanity, or great fridge escape, whichever."

"Well actually," Said the fridge " I'm here to see you. I have a proposition for you..."

"Look, I've already written a sequal to shut you up, I'm not writing another, there is just no more plotlines to use about dancing fridges, so GO AWAY"

The fridge promptly dissapeared.

"Well... that was unusaual" Said Nadir

"Welcome to my life" Said Sammy. "Help me, you're the only person I can get a rational word out of,  
to be truly honest. I'm having to revert to my previous fics for plot. This fic needs an end, and soon.  
Now how would one go about a sudden end?" Asked Sammy

"Well, I beleive," Said Nadir, "That it would go something like thi-

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A/N: Wow you're still reading, that's amazing 


	3. Wheee, SPORKS!

A/N: Woohoo, I'm free! This fic is being co-written by my freind, who is playing the part of the spork seller.

Disclaimer: Don't own, can't think of anything witty to say... to tired.

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-s"

Suddenly, the spork seller came out of the lake, looking rather wet.  
"Morning y'all" She said

"Er, since when did you talk like that?" Said Sammy

"Since yesteryear..."

"Errr, okay..." said Erik, looking thoroughly perplexed. Christine, however looked exactly the same, and probably will tomorrow, and the next day, and the next...

Then Ayesha aka the cat of hatred for darogas and permanently-lacking-of-brains sopranos, came in because we were desperately in need of some plot.

"So... when does the plot start" Said Nadir as he hadn't said much for a while.

Then a packet of peanuts fell from an aeroplane in the sky.

"Look!" Cried Ned

This turn of events raised a lot of questions in the room.

"What's an aeroplane?" Said Christine

"Who's Ned?" Said Erik

"Where's my hair gel?" Said Raoul

"Wha---- Hair gel...?" Said Nadir

"How do you think I keep it so lovely and smooth" Said Raoul.

"?" Said everyone. " And you were going to marry him...?" Said Erik to Christine.

"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time...?" Said Christine, holding her hands up defensively.

"So, anyone want any sporks?" said the spork seller, who was actually called Melissa.

"Can someone remove this lunatic from my house?" Said Erik

"I resent being called a lunatic, I am actually a well-respected member of society with a perfectly normal job!" Said Melissa.

"Of course you are" Said Ned " Now lets get this white jacket on and back to that nice padded room you like so much."

"Where's Christine"Cried the fo- er I mean Raoul.

"What... NOOO, my angel is missing" Cried Erik.

"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN" Said the dramatic music, ending the chapter on my pathetic excuse for a cliffhanger.

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A/N:

M: WHEEEEE, Sporkssporkssporks!

S: Shut it with the sporks already

M: Okay, okay. Review or I'll spork you!

S: Right, that's the last time I let an asylum-resident co-write my fic.


End file.
